


Mashup - #41 - Stable

by rocksalt_rifle (trismegistus)



Series: 50 Themes FMA/SPN Mashup [9]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-20
Updated: 2010-06-20
Packaged: 2017-10-10 05:18:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/96001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trismegistus/pseuds/rocksalt_rifle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt #41 of 50</p><p>Ed helps Roy out on a hunt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mashup - #41 - Stable

"I think this is the stupidest thing we've ever done," Ed announced, breaking the silence that had held them spellbound for an hour. He was sitting against the old cracked concrete wall, his shotgun held across his lap. The building was old, in shambles, but the concrete that formed the outer wall of the building was still pretty solid. Roy knew for certain that he wouldn't dare to lean back against the rotten wood that separated one stall from another like that.

"I don't know," Roy returned after a moment's consideration. "Kicking off the apocolpyse is pretty stupid."

Ed scowled at Roy in the darkness. "I meant the two of us," he informed Roy icily. "Me an' Al's stupid things could fill an encyclopedia."

"This is true," Roy murmured. He was standing several feet in front of Ed, watching the moonlight move slowly across the floor, cast through the broken slats in the ceiling. "But this is to help out a friend."

"A ghost horse," Ed repeated. "We're hunting the ghost of a /horse/, Roy."

"Animals can leave ghosts just as people can," Roy argued.

"A GHOST HORSE, ROY."

Roy sighed and glanced back over his shoulder at Ed. "I KNOW, okay? I owed her a favor-"

"Her?" Ed's face lit up with that. Roy sighed and turned around. "Let's hear more about 'her.'"

"No." Roy checked his weapon and looked out among the ruined stable. He heard Ed's jeans rustle as he stood up, and he tried not to tense his shoulders as Ed threw his arm over them. "NO, Ed."

"Oh, humor me. We're hunting a ghost horse. Is she hot?"

"She's like a sister to me, Ed."

"You lie." Ed slunk away a little. "So you slept with her. I repeat, is she hot?"

"This is not the time."

"Oooh, that must be a negatory." Ed poked at some rubble with his shoe, his shotgun propped against his shoulder. "What the hell has this thing even done? I mean, a few hoofbeats here and a phantom whinny there isn't enough to even make us pull off the interstate usually."

"Look, if you want to go back I totally wouldn't blame you," Roy said. "I didn't really need your help for this, I was just hoping for some company." He glanced over at Ed. "I didn't expect you to try to turn it into a slumber party, though."

"Your beer goggles are busted," Ed said. "I want to know how badly. You got any pictures of this chick?"

Roy ignored Ed and started pacing out of the stall and across the hallway into the next stall. Ed blew out a breath in annoyance and stood in the center of the stall, his shotgun still slung over his shoulder. "Geez, Roy, no need to get all butthurt about it."

"You should just go," Roy said. "I can handle this."

"Fuck no, Al's alone in that room with his laptop and his girlfriend on webcam. I know how this story ends." Ed shuddered. Then he thought about it. "Although Mei does have nice tits. Did I show you the pictures Al accidentally forwarded me?"

Roy laughed despite himself. "Al accidentally forwarded you nudie pics of his girlfriend?"

Ed pulled his phone out of his pocket and, with his shotgun tucked securely under his arm, paged through his recieved texts. Roy stepped back into the cell as Ed held up his phone.

"Wow," Roy said. "She /does/ have nice tits."

"See? And she seems to think it's appropriate to punch me in the gut if I mention it. It's a compliment!"

Roy raised his eyebrows as Ed tucked his phone away. "You told Mei to her face that she has nice tits?"

"Well, my exact wording was "great rack."

"It's astonishing that she only punched you," Roy said, shaking his head in amusement.

Ed leaned back against the wall. "Winry's're better, though." He grinned at Roy, who, after a moment, grinned back. "Didn't say that, I'm not THAT stupid."

"Speaking of which, have you heard from Winry lately?" Roy leaned in against the same wall Ed was leaning against.

"Yeah, she and Mei and Kaoru are in Hawaii," Ed said. "Must be nice, prancing around in bikinis on the beach all day long."

"Hawaii?"

"There's a crapload of mythology there," Ed said. "A lot of Japanese shit, too, they had a checklist of things to hunt. Winry said, and I quote: "I want to at least have set foot on Hawaii in case the apocalypse nukes existence as we know it."

"Poetic of her."

"Ain't worth the flight." Ed shuddered.

Abruptly the air between them shimmered oddly. They both leaped up and then there was a horse between them. It was decayed through, flaps of skin laying over bones, atrophied and rotted muscles falling through gaping holes in the flesh. The horse snorted, swung its head and focused on Edward, red sightless orbs in the place of eyes. It bared its long teeth scant inches from Ed's face.

Ed shouted in surprise, had his shotgun up and put a rock salt round between the thing's eyes. The rock salt didn't seem to faze the demonic-looking ghost horse, it stamped both its front feet into the ground and let out a whinny that went straight to the bone.

"Roy!" Ed shouted, putting another round through the main body of the horse. This one seemed to have more effect, it swung its head away from Ed and he realized a second before it happend that the horse kicked its back legs at him.

Ed dropped like a rock, landing on his ass hard as the two back hooves hit the concrete hard enough to leave indentations.

"I got it, I got it-" Roy said.

"The rock salt didn't work!" Ed shouted kicking his now-emptied shotgun away.

"Fuck!" Roy said, fumbling for his holy water rounds.

Ed pulled the Colt out from where he had it tucked in the back of his jeans. As the phantom brought its hooves down toward its head Ed put a slug into the body of the horse.

The horse shrieked in pain and vanished.

Ed sat against the wall, breathing hard, the adrenaline pumping. "That wasn't a fucking ghost horse," he said when he could talk again. "That was a DEMON hose!"

"I noticed," Roy said, retrieving Ed's kicked-away shotgun.

"Fat lot of help you were, too, Mustang," Ed said as Mustang held out a hand, helping Ed to his feet. "What, were you frozen in fear?"

"At least I didn't scream like a little girl."

"Hey! I didn't scream like a little girl. I let out a shout, I was surprised. Besides, demon horse breath is noxious shit."

"Sure you didn't. Wish I'd thought to have my phone out, that would make an amazing ring-tone."

"Fuck you, Roy."

"Sure, but my car's not as big as yours, it'll be a little cramped-"

Ed held out his hand. "Give me my shotgun."

"Not until we get back to the car," Roy said.

"What? Why not? It's not like it has any ammo left, I can't shoot you."

"No, but you can hit me with it."

Ed paused. "I hadn't thought of that."

"I didn't think you had, but I like to be certain."

"Demon ghost horse," Edward said with a sigh. "Think it'll be back?"

"You shot it with the Colt, I think it's gone."

"Well, I hope your friend appreciates the hard work we've put in tonight." Ed stretched his arms over his head as they emerged from the ramshackle stable. "I'm fucking starving. Let's go find an all-night diner. You're buying, Mustang."

Roy just laughed.


End file.
